Reclamation

Reclamation - noun \ˌre-klə-ˈmā-shən\: the act or process of reclaiming; as in a. reformation, rehabilitation, or b. restoration to use, recovery

Synonyms: recapture, recovery, recoupment, repossession, retrieval

You will be persecuted for your attempts at reclamation of self. In other words, people who either don't understand or have no empathy will persecute you for your desire to reclaim yourself. They don't mean to be stupid, I don't think. They just don't get it. And you can't dwell on their lack of sensitivity. They are what they are.

A dear friend, an "adopted" little sister, is facing a personal crisis. I can't walk it out for her. But I've been in a similar situation and I can testify to the acute pain that she is suffering, and will suffer as she works through the situation. The pain will end. It's not permanent.

But here's the rub. Part of the pain is self-inflicted. You tell yourself you are a failure, no good, worthless. Part of the pain comes from other people. They tell you you're a failure, no good, worthless.

Or worse, they silently judge you - and you can't defend yourself with words, actions or even a good attorney. You are simply condemned of a crime you either don't know you committed or couldn't help committing despite your efforts to avoid said crime.

Having experienced this first hand, I remember this most precious sentiment...

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss

He gets it.

But back to self-reclamation. Where was I? Oh yes. If you know going into it (this process of self-reclamation) that the ride will be painful and dangerous, and that it will also be liberating and rewarding, you'll be fine. You'll turn out okay. Well-meaning people are going to say mean things and may even throw things. Mainly, they either don't get it or they are jealous that you are so brave. That's probably why they throw things.

I can't tell you how to get through it, this reclamation. Only you will recognize your own personal how. I can say that it's worth it...every damn step. It's dirty work, like restoring a priceless object that has been allowed to weather and run-down. You will get dirty and sore.

And maybe I can at least point you in the right direction. If reclaiming yourself, and by default your life, resonates with you deeply, consider this:

“Do you really want to be happy? You can begin by being appreciative of who you are and what you've got.”
― Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

And this:

"The first thing we need to do is recognize and trust our own Inner Nature, and not lose sight of it.”
― Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh

And be ready to get dirty.

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Is It Stuffy In Here?

Or is it just me? 

My original intent for this blog was to make it into the resource for beginners interested in Taoism, which I have not been able to find online. But after only 3 posts, I burned out. Big time. Like complete disintegration of interest and motivation. Why?

Once I realized what was happening, after 3 weeks or so of no posts, I knew I had a problem. (Don't judge.) First, I had to figure out the why and then a how to. Why had I burned out in posting to my shiny new blog about Taoism? 

My interest hasn’t waned or altered. I am still listening to Dr. Dyer’s “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life” on Audible. I am still reading Lao-tse’s writings and teachings. 

So what then? Why didn’t I want to write about my experience? Oh wait. I think I figured it out. My first three blog posts were…stuffy. And worse: boring! Ah! I can’t do boring. I’ll suffocate. I’ll wither. I’ll…stagnate. And that’s exactly what I did to my poor little blog. I can’t write stuffy. Allow me to amend that statement. I can write stuffy. I can write boring. I did write boring…in college. 

But my real voice? I simply can’t confine myself to boring little monologues about philosophy, theology, any other ologies or life in general. Because that’s not how I see the world. And that’s not how I think about the world. My world is colorful and mysterious, and filled with crayons on the walls and stinky little boy socks. I pretty much have to have a sense of humor or I’ll die. Or be crushed by the laundry monster. 

Now that I know the why, I have to figure out the how to. How to fix my broken bloggy blog? I go back to the Tao. (Also known as the watercourse way.) There’s a very good reason Lao-tse repeatedly revisits the water metaphor in his teachings. Within water is the very ebb and flow of life. 

Verse 8, Tao Te Ching

The highest good is like water.
Water gives life to the ten thousand things and does not strive.
It flows in places men reject and so is like the Tao.

In dwelling, be close to the land.
In meditation, go deep in the heart.
In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
In speech, be true.
In ruling, be just.
In business, be competent.
In action, watch the timing.

No fight: No blame.

My how: to realign myself with the water metaphor and flow with life, with learning, with writing. I will not fight my voice, try to write like someone else or write like others think I should. I will write like me.

And I like me. So that’s good.

Anyhow, apologies for the delinquent and pretty much non-existent posting. Be like water, flow with me in this.

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Are You Frugal?

This one is a hard concept for me. I want to be frugal, waste less, reuse more... But give me 15 minutes in Wal-Mart and I'll give you 15 things to buy (that I definitely don't NEED.) Consumerism has me by the throat. I don't want to die from my shopping addiction, but I don't always know how to escape. And, I am pretty sure Lao-tse has something here...

I have three treasures which I hold and keep.
The first is mercy [compassion]; the second is economy [frugality];
The third is daring not to be ahead of others [humility].
From mercy comes courage; from economy comes generosity;
From humility comes leadership.

Excerpt, 67th chapter, Tao Te Ching

And what does frugality really mean? Does it mean using coupons? Or embracing Minimalism? Going green? Spending less, saving more? A better question - why does Lao-tse propose that from economy [frugality] comes generosity?

Frugality leads to generosity.

I will puzzle this out. I have to. Here we go.

Frugality is not just about money, although that is a large part of it. Frugality is also about body, mind and soul. Lets pretend energy is the currency of frugality. If I am more frugal, mindful of my spending, in all areas of my life, then maybe I can be more giving.

Giving, by the way, is not just about monetary donation or writing a check to your favorite charity. Giving takes so many forms. Body = performing a physical task that someone else may not be able to do for themselves. Mind = devoting brain power to solving a problem for someone who may not be able to solve it themselves. Soul = spending precious time with someone who may not have much time with. You get the idea. 

1. Become more mindful of my spending habits (whether actual money or energy) and I become more mindful of my blessings.
2. Become more mindful of my blessings and I become more mindful of opportunities to give.
3. Become more mindful of my opportunities to give and I become more giving, more generous.

Baby steps.

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